Today was a quite confusing day. I am known for expecting less from everyone. Still I exepcted something from someone. It happens rarely. In past it always hurted me when people did not react as per my expectations. But I learnt, bitter ways, that world , people do live upto your expectations. And now for many years I have been expecting less, it surfaces sometime, but now I am aware about such expectations and clear my mind.
Now why expectaions hurts when they are not fulfilled? Expectaions is future action which we visualise and we become happy about the future event. And when we encounter the situations and it is not fulfilled as we had visualised, it hurts and leaves scars. Then we tie knots in our mind and becomes prejudiced to certain persons, things, situations.
Philosophers and thinkers emphasizes on no-mind or living in presence. It is difficult not to think about the past events and future events. It is not that we have to stop thinking and using mind at all. But we have to use mind as a tool where we can do process of thinking. Analysis of past and planning future are necessary things. But past events or future events should not effect your present action , which always happens.
If I have some bitter expereince of some person , I become angry in his presence, or by just seeing him, or merely his reference can make me loose my mind, then I have no control over me, my mind.
Brain memory can be divided in two parts physical memory and psychological/emotinal memory. In physical memory you remember the incident with that person and be careful during next encounter with him. While using emotinal memory you become angry everytime you see him. Now that is something one has to control his/her mind and should not allow prejudices to come between. Prejudices are the birth place of hatred and anguishment.
Same thing happens while generating expectations. If someone is good with me and I like his company, and devlope good feelings about him. Then next time I see him I 'expect' him to treat me same way he did to me at last occassions. Now, it is not always possible for every man to be in same state of mind every time, so the opposite person may be welcoming or avoiding me depending upon his own mood and state of mind, and I becomes angry for not being treated properly.
So when you have faced negative response from a person, dont be prejudiced, give him/her some benefit of doubts. He might not be in mood of meeting anyone, might have faced worse situatation then you are, having problems at job, home, with wife and there are thousands of problem people live with. So next time you visit him , visit with open mind and check the water, you may live up to see good relation. Same with expections, dont expect too much, he might need your support, cheer up, which he once gave to you.
I have written this as it came to my mind. Please particpate and share your views.