(Thorsons, an Imprint of Harper Collins) (Non-fiction/ Self Improve)
This book has tag line "Read the signals and find love, wealth and happiness". I failed to understand it. I have become interested in "Body Language" some where in 1996 and I have been reading many books about it and internet is great source for it. What I have understood is that Body Language is just another language, though unspoken. And it is believed that body language speaks the truth, as people sub-conciously speaking its mind. In oral language I can flatter you but my body may speak differently, speaks honestly.
But there is always room for mis-interpretation which can be fatal. According to me what this book offers is ready made under standing of given situation. Let's consider few of the topics of the books to get the clear idea. All the topics are in questionnaire form.
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In first Chapter OPTIMUM PERFORMANCE:
How can body langugage help me perform better in my life? (too general and too broad scope)
Does my natural physical appearance affect the way people relate to me?
How can I dress for success?
How does my body help me remember things? (interesting thought)
How can I spell better?
What happens when I cannot concentrate – and is there anything I can do about?
How do I tell when I am unsure about something? (amusing)
Second Chapter SUCCESS AT WORK
What does my workplace say about the company I work for?
How can my body language can help me fit in at work?
How can body language help me steer clear of 'Office Politics"? (Nidhi certainly will want to read this)
How can I stand up to the Office Bully?
What is the secret of body language of sex at work?
How can I handle a difficult boss? (everybody wants to)
How can I tell whether I am doing well in work or not?
Third Chapter SUCCESSFUL SOCIAL LIFE
How can body language help?
What is the secret of good listener?
Can I tell from other people's body language what sort of people they are?
How can I tell if people really find my jokes funny?
How should I use my body language when friends come round for a meal?
What are group "roles" and how can I spot them.
Fourth chapter MAKING LOVE WORK (strangest chapter)
How can body language help me succeed in love?
How can I tell who is available and who is not?
What make a good flirt – and should I learn to be one?
How can I use body language to make sure that first date goes well?
Is there a secret to perfect kissing? (yes there is, but it is secret)
Are there any guaranteed ways to turn my partner on? (my my )
What body language should I use when my partner and I undress ? (please bear with me)
How can I tell how aroused my partner is?(I am speechless)
When is the time right for penetration? ( I told you , this chapter is strangest, just check the next)
How can I tell when my partner has climaxed? (……)
What are the body language "contraceptives" I can use if I do not want to make love?
Fifth chapter TOTAL STRANGERS (forget the chapter)
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Whew… particularly it was the fourth chapter which refrained me for quite some time from writing down any review about the book . I was too confused. That's why I put few words about the body language in general and the few selected topics from the chapters.
Now this book , every book , is useful one way or other. But my complaints to the author is as under:
1. READY MADE SOLUTIONS : Following the marketing trade this book offers ready made solutions for the given situation as given in the chapters. Now, as per me body language is like another lanauge. For example English language. If you know the English Language you dont need to be taught what to say at work, how to say at social party, when to say to your lover, and why to say anything at all during sex.
People is rquired to be taught the basics of any language, and words and sentences will follow. You cant teach them rehearsed phrases for all the situations. If I can spot a liar at office then why I cannot spot liar in love or at home or at party, basic rules remain same. This book attempt to offer such thing. Hundreds of such solutions are readily offered on the net.
2. TOO BRIEF DESCRIPTION : All right, certain topics of the books are indeed useful. But the solutions or explanation offered are too brief. Most of topics are explained in 5 to 6 paragraph (two pages at the most, and I have pocket book edition). Many topics require elborate understanding. So brief description can confuse the first time reader of the subject of Body Language.
3. AS IF BODY LANGUAGE IS EVERYTIHING : Ofcourse, knowledge of body lanugage is very good and beneficial but it is not everything. Here I again argue that after all it is just a language it simply helps to understand the people more properly but then again millions of time people are told and explained in the oral language yet not benefit from it. So understanding the body is just another skill not evertything.
4. THE FOURTH CHAPTER : Okay, everybody tries and wants to find a clue how the opposite sex thinks about oneself. Disucssion of the body language of other people until you know him/her well is okay. But when you know the other people very well, love him/her , understand him/her then why I want to know my kiss is perfect or not, she is turned on or not and it is time to… Well this is too much for me. If you know the other people very well then you dont need to understand these or you are dumb.
In general the book is disappointing affair.